


Big Mistake

by Subspace02



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dave's an asshole, Dorks, Dorks in Love, F/M, John's emotional, M/M, Pranks, Prankster's Gambit, Short John, tall dave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 10:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13432764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Subspace02/pseuds/Subspace02
Summary: Dave is tall and holds objects over his head so John can't reach them. In the end John fills his pranksters gambit triumphantly.





	Big Mistake

Your name is Dave Strider and your boyfriend is stupidly short. He's only five foot but compared to you he's an ant. He claims, " _I'm still growing, Dave!_ " but you're pretty sure he hasn't grown an inch since sixth grade. You can't say you mind it though. It simply adds to his adorable look. The buckteeth, wild hair, icy blue eyes, cheeky grin, tiny hands and an even smaller body.

You realize you've been staring at him and he's been talking the entire time. He's standing at the stove making breakfast, his head turned to look over his shoulder at you with a raised eyebrow. You continue to stare at him a moment longer before he groans and shakes his head, clearly annoyed.

"Were you even listening to me? This is important!" He exclaims quite loudly. How he's able to be so energetic and loud this early is a mystery to you. Technically it's not really that early but that's besides the point.

"Sorry, babe, mind repeating that for me?" You've learned not to banter with him when there's something important going on. It only upsets him and an upset Egbert is not the way you want to start your day.

He sighs and switches the stove off as he adds the scrambled eggs to the already filled plates. He makes on hell of a breakfast.

"As I've _already_  said, Jade wants to come visit this weekened-" you cut him off before you can continue.

"My welts are still healing from when we went paintballing the last time she came to visit." You sigh and shake your head, sitting up a little straighter as he sets your plate in front of you with a glass of apple juice. "But, yeah, whatever. How long is she planning on staying?"

He rolls his eyes at you as he sets his own plate down before walking over to the coffee maker. He'll never truly be awake till he's had at least two cups.

"Somewhere between a week or two. She hasn't decided on how long to stay." He opens the cabinet above it and pulls out the little tub of coffee grounds then reaches back up to get the filters. Unfortunately for him they'e pushed back and out of his reach. A smirk spreads across your face as you watch him stand on his tippy toes and clasp at nothing but air. Finally he gives up and looks at you with a pout, as if upset you'd just watched him rather than help. 

"Stop with that stupid, smug smirk and help me." He practically whines it and it is enough motivation for you to begrudgingly stand up. You move slowly as you stalk over to the open cabinet, easily leaning up to grab the coffee filters. He looks pleased and he holds a hand out to take them but you have yet to lower his prize. He looks a little confused and tilts his head.

"Can you please give them to me? I want some coffee and this is a total delay!" He huffs angrily and shakes his outstretched hand a little as if you haven't already gotten the message that he wants them.

"Sorry, Egbert, but it's kind of funny watching you struggle for it. Maybe I'll just put it up higher." You tease with a grin, watching his face morph into one of anger.

"Dave! This isn't funny!" He reaches up and grabs your forearm. His fingers don't even touch. How cute!

"It's fucking hilarious actually." You snort and watch as he jumps up to try grabbing them. Alas he's no match for your six foot six height; he's much too tiny. He actually looks troubled by this, still attempting to jump up and grab it out of your hands.

"I want my coffee Dave! Stop messing around!" He steps back, a scowl now present on his face. He kicks your shin in a new attempt to get his desired object from your hands. You bust up laugh, the kick having done nothing to harm you. It was hilarious watching him have to lift his leg up that far to kick you. Finally you relent and lower your hand, laughing harder as he snatches the filters and holds them to his chest defensively. You go back to your seat while he makes his coffee and comes to sit across from you. You try numerous times to cheer him back up but everytime he looks at you with the glare you start giggling and snorting. He doesn't seem to be as amused as you are.

.

You both make your way to the couch to watch some tv once breakfast is cleaned up. He finally forgave you when you offered to watch one of his godawful movies without complaining. He seemed pleased with this offer and happily agreed.

Now you're sitting on the couch with him pressed against your side, your arm wrapped over his shoulders. He already put the movie into the player, City of Angels, and is reaching over your lap to grab the remote so he can turn the tv on. You beat him to it and grab the remote. He doesn' seemed bothered by this, thinking you're going to turn the tv on for him. Sadly, he is mistaken and you sit there, the remote held high above his head. He raises an eyebrow at you and it takes ten seconds before he realizes what you're doing. The scowl returns as he turns to face you better, already fed up with your bullshit.

"I swear to god Dave you better not start this again." If looks could kill you'd have a thousand swords going through your chest.

"Start what, Egbert?" You play innocent but the smirk on your face gives you away.

He leans up to take the remote and you jump up from the couch, full on grinning now. You take a step away from the furniture as he stands up on it, looking determined. He suddenly leaps onto you and clings to your front, his legs locked around your stomach, one hand clutching at your shoulder while the other is stretched up to grab the device. Unfortunately for him he still isn't able to reach it. This only pisses him off further.

"You promised you'd watch one of my movies with me!" He yells and grabs your wrists. He's only an inch too short from reaching his desired object.

"Yeah I did but I never said when." You pointed out and he looks at you with an upset look. He lets go of you and drops to his feet, sending one last glare your way before stomping off to your shared bedroom. The door slams shut and you're left feeling a little guilty with both hands hanging by your sides. You're tempted to go apologize and make it up to him for real but decide he might need some time to cool off. An angry Egbert was not how you wanted to start your day, but an upset Egbert is so much worse.

 

==>

 

Who the hell does he think he is teasing you about your height like that. You aren't short! He's just freakishly tall!

Your name is John Egbert and you're curled up on your bed you share with your boyfriend. Though at the moment he isn't beside you like he normally would be. You're upset that he would trick you like that just for your forgiveness. Normally it would be funny to mess around but lately you've felt a little down and sensitive. This whole thing just seemed to make it worse and you don't even deny the fact that there are tears spilling down your cheeks.

You wallow in your depressed state a little longer before grabbing your phone that's on the nightstand. You tap on pesterchum and click your sister's username.

 

-ectoBiologist began pestering gardenGnostic at XX:XX-

 

ectoBiologist: hey

ectoBiologist: you there Jade?

gardenGnostic: Hey John! :DDD

gardenGnostic: What's up?

ectoBiologist: Dave's being a total ass and normally it's fine but I'm actually upset

 

You don't normally dive right into things but you're too upset to participate in some sibling banter.

 

gardenGnostic: oh no!!!! :((((

gardenGnostic: what'd he do?

gardenGnostic: do I need to come down there and cover him in paintballs again?

gardenGnostic: cause I will do it! Just give me the word! >:((

ectoBiologist: you don't need to do that Jade

ectoBiologist: he's just been teasing me about my height and we were going to watch a movie together but he was teasing me again!

 

You leave out the part of him tricking you for your forgiveness.

 

gardenGnostic: maybe he needs a taste of his own medicine?

ectoBiologist: If you haven't noticed I'm not sure i can keep something out of his reach

gardenGnostic: you'll think of something!

gardenGnostic: but I have to go

gardenGnostic: Karkat's complaining that you're stealing the attention that should be directed towards him

ectoBiologist: yeah yeah whatever

gardenGnostic: I'll talk to you later!

-gardenGnostic ceased pestering ectoBiologist at XX:XX-

ectoBiologist: see ya..

-ectoBiologist ceased pestering gardenGnostic at XX:XX-

 

You groan and toss your phone to the other side of the bed, a frown clear on your face. It was obvious she was implying you to pull a prank but what kind?

As if the pranking gods answered your call you come up with the greatest idea ever. Your pranksters gambit is filling just with the idea of your plan.

 

==>

 

You're sitting on the couch, blankly staring at the black screen on the tv. You still feel bad about upsetting John like that but you don't want to go in there and make him angrier than he probably already is.

As if on cue the sound of your bedroom door opens and you turn to watch as John comes out and plops down next to you. He has yet to even look at you. You watch as he turns the tv on and starts his movie. Neither of you say a word for a few minutes.

"Look, John, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to actually upset you like that. I was only kidding." You're looking at him with your most apologetic look.

"What goes around comes around." Is his only reply and you'e thoroughly confused.

Neither of you say say anything till the second movie. He scoots closer and curls up against your side, resting his cheek on your shoulder. You exchange quiet ' _I love you_ 's before going back to watching the movie.

.

You spend the entire day watching movies before going to get ready for bed. You pull him against your chest and soon fall asleep.

 

==>

 

You wait until Dave's breath is steady before slipping out of his arms and stalking to the kitchen. You quietly take a large cup from one of the top cabinets, you had to use a chair to reach it, and fill it with water from the sink. You walk back to the bedroom and climb up onto the edge of the bed, stiffening and staying still when he grumbles and rolls onto his back. You fear he might be waking up but the snore that leaves him proves otherwise. You stand up straight and raise your arm up, holding the cup of freezing water over his head. With a grin you turn your hand to dump the water on him and watch as he screams and a look of horror passes over his face.

You screech with laughter, a grin plastered on your face as your pranksters gambit flies through the fucking roof.

" **WHO'S THE TALL ONE NOW FUCKER** "


End file.
